Monday, June 22, 2009

Find my iPhone!

Find My iPhone Now Available!

So, if you ever lose your iPhone, you can go to the Web and do a satellite search.

Pretty cool! I just tried it, and it narrowed my phone down to somewhere in my apartment complex.

It eventually may have zoomed in closer, but you can set it up to make a sound, even in silent mode.

Those wacky guys at Apple, what will they think of next?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Stay in school, or leave early?

The NBA draft is coming up this week, and once again, the mock-draft boards by people who pay more attention than I do is littered with underclassmen. In fact, the 2008 Player of the Year, North Carolina senior Tyler Hansbrough, may not even be picked in the top 20.

On the one hand, I do not begrudge a youngster to strike while the iron is hot, to start making the big money now and bank it for the future. It's free-enterprise, capitalism, and the libertarian right to do what you please without regard to rules or naysayers (like me) telling you what to do.

On the other hand, I wonder how LeBron James feels now -- MVP season, a statistical career like few others have ever had, yet falling well short of his stated goal of a championship.

Now, there are millions of reasons to participate in sports besides winning championships. Lord knows I've never been close to one, and still enjoyed the thrill of participating. However, when you are being paid the amount of money they throw around in pro sports, there should be an expectation of production.

The worst things that have ever happened to the NBA are the unquestionably successful careers of Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, and Kevin Garnett -- all who skipped college entirely to jump to the NBA from high school. The unfortunate result is, any high school kid who wins a game of HORSE believes he has what it takes to make the jump as well. Yet for every Kobe or LeBron or KG, how many countless Kris Humphrey's or Rick Rickerts are there, players who believed their inflated hypes and the ill-advised recommendations of "friends" and made the jump prematurely, getting scant minutes in the NBA (Humphrey) or never making the NBA at all (Rickert)? Although, they do have Wiki pages, which I guess is pretty cool (I don't have one!).

The vast majority of underclassmen declaring for the NBA draft simply are not ready to play in the NBA. They are talented but have few skills (Humphrey led the Big 10 in points per game and rebounding, but averaged 0.3 assists per game; I suspect the ball was slapped from his hands and ended up with a teammate once every three games. The basic play was, throw the ball in to Humphrey and turn around and set up for defense because he didn't know how to pass it back). And weak skills are making the NBA weaker as a result.

Contrast that with University of Colorado track star Jenny Barringer, who while a senior, has one more semester to complete. With her performance at the 2009 Prefontaine Classic, Barringer became only the third American to break 4:00 for the 1,500 meters (and one of the other two is suspected of using performance enhancing drugs, though most likely later in her career). She is considered a near-lock to qualify for the US World Championship team next week, where she has here eyes set on a medal. She's never been hotter than she is right now, and a poor showing at US Nationals or the World Championships in August could conceivably cost her money. But, she wants to graduate, and she wants to have one more season with Colorado's Cross-Country team in order to win a collegiate national championship. Is she making a mistake? Maybe if your definition of success is money. However, I admire the hell out of her decision, and will be paying close attention to her this summer, and hopefully for may summers to come.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

How to Anger a Snake


I’ve been a Tarzan fan for years, though truth be told, it’s been years since I’ve read any of the original Edgar Rice Burroughs’ books. At my suggestion, my Science Fiction book club recently read “Tarzan of the Apes”. Sadly, only I and one other member bothered to read it. Others were relying on memory (or the Weissmuller movies), or simply chose to not read at all.

All the pity, as TotA is a remarkably imaginative. Who couldn’t thrill to the possibilities! Running around the jungle, fighting jungle animals for survival, clad only in a loincloth and a hunting knife, a rope, and a bow and arrows – the way man was meant to live!

Maybe that’s the problem. Despite such strong role models as Sheena Queen of the Jungle, Jana Jungle Girl, and Leopard Woman, I know of no females who ever really found the appeal of the Tarzan stories.

Tarzan eventually married Jane and for a time lived in England, claiming his royal title as Lord Greystoke. They had a child, Jack. One day, while attending a zoo or a circus (it’s been 30 years and the details are a bit fuzzy), Tarzan and Jack see some of Tarzan’s former Great Ape playmates locked up in cages. Again I forget the exact details, but somehow this becomes the catalyst for young Jack to leave home and return with his new Great Ape friends to the jungles of Africa.

The Great Apes had trouble pronouncing the name “Jack,” so hence forward, Jack was known as Korak, Son of Tarzan. Even when Korak met with humans who presumably could have pronounced his name correctly, he introduced himself as Korak Son of Tarzan, always name-dropping his much more renowned father (who was, after all, Lord of the Jungle).

I always gravitated to Korak Son of Tarzan. I did not have the good fortune to be born in the jungle and raised by the Great Ape from infancy, but I could conceivably run off to the jungle now, by choice, and live out my adolescent fantasy.

Plus, according to the Gold Key comic book series, Korak Son of Tarzan had great hair.

REQUISITE SPOILER ALERT for those of you who plan to read this story yourself.

This particular story, published in June 1968, involves giant carnivorous frogs terrorizing an African village. Thanks to High School biology, I know frogs eat bugs, so if they grew to giant proportions, they would have the razor-sharp shark teeth as on the cover. Everything makes sense so far.

After a couple very exciting plot points, the villagers have gathered at the top of the falls to sacrifice a goat, hoping to appease the giant carnivorous frogs. Korak Son of Tarzan sneaks into the tent of the evil witch doctor, pulling a candle stub from his loin cloth for light (where else was he going to carry it? After all, he didn’t have a Batman utility belt.). He finds… a giant carnivorous frog costume! The evil witch doctor has used the real giant carnivorous frogs to camouflage his own nefarious schemes. When the evil witch doctor returns, Korak Son of Tarzan confronts him, and marches him out in front of the villagers. The evil witch doctor twists free, and flings an angry poisonous snake at Korak Son of Tarzan!

With his lightning-quick hands, Korak Son of Tarzan grabs the angry poisonous snake and wrings its life from it, while the evil witch doctor dives into the white frothing water, and does not bob to the surface. Did he perish on the jagged rocks, or did he escape to torment Korak Son of Tarzan another day?

Apparently, the evil witch doctor had been carrying the angry poisonous snake in his loincloth. I can’t really explain this. It does raise the question: did the evil witch doctor carry a poisonous snake in his loin cloth because he was evil, or was the evil witch doctor evil because he carried an angry poisonous snake in his loin cloth? Regardless, I have a pretty good idea why the snake was so angry.