To my newly (or soon to be) emancipated friends

When I was let go from my last employer, my former company had just days earlier announced that it was merging with a much larger competitor. I was assured that the staff reduction decision had nothing to do with the merger, and I do believe that. But if this is true, then it is logical to assume that more staff cuts are to come; mergers always lead to cost-efficiency considerations, and in a business service industry, cost-efficiency is closely tied to head-count.

Plus, my company's CEO assured nervous investors that drastic cost cutting would commence before year end.

So, a number of my former colleagues (and dear friends) are nervous about their future. I am nervous for them as well. So to you, my friends, a few brief tips that I hope will help (I've become a bit of an expert, and am actively looking to re-career as an employment specialist):


1) Job Loss has been proven to be one of the more stressful events in a person's life, ranking with Death and Divorce. So, the emotions you feel are valid, and normal.

1a) The coping mechanisms that you may have used in other stressful events of your life can be used to help you deal with the emotions of a job loss as well.

2) You will be competing with thousands of other job seekers. It is very competitive, and recruiters / HR managers are receiving hundreds of resumes for every posting, most of which are no where near qualified.

2a) Most job seekers are going about their job search the wrong way. You can do better.

3) You will check out the job boards (CareerBuilder, HotJobs, Monster, etc.). We all do. But please understand: 70% of all job openings that are filled, are never posted. So, if you only use job boards, not only are you missing out on 70% of all positions, you are also competing with thousands of job seekers for the same 30%.

3a) I've talked with recruiters who are saying that they are no longer posting positions, because it's so overwhelming. They are filling positions through referrals.

3b) Note that recruiters do have positions to fill!

4) You have to get out and meet people, shake their hands, ask them questions, and share what you are looking for (which requires you to know what you are looking for). It's scary, and it's hard, but it's necessary, and it gets easier as you do it more. And, it works.

Does your church offer a Job Seekers Network? Join, now! Call anyone you used to work with who are now or have been seeking, meet them for coffee, and ask them what they are doing. Are there women's networking groups available? Check out the AARP, which nowadays takes anyone over 40, and talk with them about resources and opportunities for mature workers -- you don't necessarily have to join. And get active with your local American Marketing Association and/or Market Research Association chapters (or similar industry affiliated group).

5) Definitely check out the state Economic Security offices (or whatever they would be called in MN). Arizona offers wonderful free workshops on resume writing and interviewing skills. I have to believe that MN does as well, and maybe more.

5a) Learn to use online resources to your advantage. Find FREE classes for LinkedIn (there are a lot of fee-based classes, but it's not rocket science and you should be able to find appropriate training for free). Go to the main library and talk to a librarian, who will be happy to discuss what services the library offers that you can't get on the Web.

5b) But DO NOT restrict your job search activities sitting at your table on your laptop at home! You have to get out and meet people.

6) You have to take care of yourself and your families first, so if you are given the "it's not you, it's me" speech, take the next several days to get yourself in order, do some planning, get your communication pieces drafted, etc. After a while, though, your job search routine will begin to settle. I would encourage you, then, to think about what you love to do, and go volunteer to do so. Do you like kids? Working with the homeless? Animal adoption? Cancer or heart or lupus or some other disease? Maybe you volunteer at your kids' school.

Not only is volunteering good for the soul, but it gets you out of your house, and active. You can learn new skills, which become resume points. And, do a good job, use it to network within the organization, and they will fight on your behalf, calling potential employers, sending recommendations, etc. At least, that has been my experience, and all of my current and best opportunities are directly related to volunteering.


Being let go is tough. I remember I felt like I was punched in the gut, even though I sniffed something in the air about a week before I got the call. But pray, stay close to God and your loved ones, and you will get through this.

And I can honestly say that even though I have not had a paycheck since March, this has been one of the best, and one of the most fun years of my life. I'm doing things I never considered doing, I've broken through some of my comfort zone, I've met dozens of wonderful people, and they ALL want to help.

Maybe you won't need this advice. But consider this: the days of life-long employment with a single employer is over. The average tenure with an employer is 3-4 years, which means that if not this year, then most likely within the next three years, you will be looking for your next position (voluntarily or not). Set yourself up for success now, and keep at it.

But above all, while (or when) you are employed, do the best job you can and make as much profit for your employer as you can. Chances are, your boss will be looking for his/her next job right along side you very soon. It's a small world. Never burn bridges.

Good luck!

Archie Marries Veronica! (or, does he?!)

A Dallas comic book store owner and collector is so upset that Archie Andrews is marrying spoiled little rich girl Veronica Lodge instead of girl-next-door Betty Cooper that to protest, he’s selling his copy of Archie Comics #1 from 1942.

Literally and figuratively, I’m not buying his story. A few things:

-- Anyone who’s read comic books for more than a year should realize that “game changing” events are rarely permanent. No one expected when Captain America died in in the now legendary story from 2007 that he would remain dead for long (although, these are excellent stories and well worth reading). And, the Archie website pretty much tells us from the beginning that this is an imaginary story! Archie is stressed by his high school graduation so he goes for a walk through the woods, and when he emerges, it’s four years later and he’s graduating college. Of course things are going back to normal as soon as the story is over.

-- Anyone who claims to be an Archie Comics fan of any length of time knows that sweet Betty Cooper hasn’t always been a sweetheart. Nearly every Digest issue includes stories from as late as the 1960s where Betty is just as scheming and conniving as Veronica, in her own way. Or, checking out the fascinating Archie Americana series of stories segmented by decade, we see that Archie, Veronica, Jughead Jones, Reggie Mantle, Big Moose Mason, Mr. Weatherby, Miss Grundy, and every other character stay remarkably consistent over nearly 70 years, the one exception being sweet Betty. The “Everybody’s Sweetheart” version of Betty didn’t emerge until the 1970s. Admittedly Betty during the current half of her career is the Betty we all know and love, but selling a 1942 copy is a pretty hollow protest.

-- Everyone recalls the infamous “Love Showdown” storyline from 1994, where Betty and Veronica threw down the gauntlet: Archie must decide once and for all. So, he chose SPOILER

Cheryl Blossom. At least until the next issue when things were pretty much back to normal.

-- Archie Comics have some of the best writers in the business, but for a story this significant, they brought in uber-movie producer Michael Uslan (the classic “Dark Knight,” the underwhelming “The Spirit,” and the downright awful “Catwoman”), not by one of the regular Archie writers. Now, Uslan teaches a course on comic books at Indiana University so he’s not necessarily a hack, but I have to believe that if Archie Comics would make a lasting change, it would be done by one of their regular storytellers.

-- Selling comic book back issues does nothing for or against the publisher. They’ve already been paid all they’re going to be paid. If you want to make a meaningful protest, you would refuse to buy any new issues, or for a store, refuse to stock any current issues. The comic book industry is like every other industry, and sales dictate direction.

Also, the comic book industry generally runs three to four months ahead of time, so it’s likely that every issue of the Archie Marries Veronica storyline is already written and produced, so a protest at this time doesn’t stop anything. The issues are all coming out.

Of course, the real reason this owner is selling is to get some quick cash. And the current storyline very likely will generate some interest, driving the price up; once all the issues have been released, the price for Archie #1 likely will drop to current levels, so strike while the iron is hot.

This story is generating a lot of buzz for the always entertaining Archie Comics. I confess that I have been a fan for years, thrilling to the antics of the crazy gang from Riverdale. So, I'm mildly interested in how this storyline will play out, but as a 20-year veteran of the comic-book-reading game, I know that by the end of the storyline, everything will be back to normal.

Aside: Cheryl Blossom, who has a genuine interest in Archie, is an even richer and more spoiled version of Veronica, who often uses Archie simply to make Betty jealous. Cheryl does struggle with the vast gulf of social status between her and Archie, but given my vote, I would like to see Archie end up with Cheryl.

Like everyone else, I do love Betty, but Archie has broken her heart too many times and does not deserve her. She needs to move away to college and meet a new soul mate.

I predict that the constant bickering between Veronica and Jughead is really a mask for some deep-seated chemistry between the two. Don’t be surprised when they show up as a couple at their 10-year high school reunion.

My pretty cool new volunteer venture

I hinted a couple weeks ago at something pretty exciting. It made the front page of the July 9 Arizona Republic newspaper:

What the story didn't fully explain:

The Great State of Arizona accepted a federal grant under the Workforce Investment Act to open additional Access Points for the state's Workforce Connection program. I am going to be an Access Point Trainer.

Starting next Sunday afternoon, one of the big churches in my 'hood is opening an Access Point office, so anyone from the community, not just church members (and not even restricted to those of the Christian faith) can stop in for resume reviews, interviewing tips, and help in accessing job boards and filling out applications. Or, if they just need someone to vent to or to pray with, I can do that as well.

The staff at the Workforce Connection sites are all extremely competent and compassionate, but are overwhelmed; Arizona is still facing a $2Billion budget shortfall (they missed their June 30 deadline) so is making cuts across the board, many times resulting in cuts to programs and services that are most in demand. Access Points bring the services into more neighborhoods, and simply helps to spread the services across more people.

The Trainer position is volunteer for now; the grant money goes towards the material. Because it is under a federal grant, it is portable, so if I end up moving to Seattle or Minneapolis or wherever my next job will take me, I could conceivably volunteer in a new state. And, it is another bullet point on my resume.

I have said several times that, while I have no pleasure in being unemployed, I do find the process of looking for work to be fascinating. And, I've long held to the saying, "Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." I've wanted to find opportunities to teach / coach / train / mentor, and this seems like a pretty obvious convergence of desires, interests, and current situation. I'm pretty excited about it.

And I get my picture in the paper to boot!

Dress for Success, in job searching

A number of years ago, I had a debate with my high school civics teacher over the book, “Dress for Success.” I called it a debate; I’m sure Mr. Niemela called it something else. I just would not accept that anyone should be judged by anything other than his or her own merit. I believed that if you work hard and produce good work, then success will follow.

I still believe that. But, as I’ve gotten older and have spent a few years in the business world, I do understand that if you want anyone else to take your success seriously, they have to take you seriously as well.

When you’re out of work and looking for work, then your job is to find a job. Why, then, would you show up to networking meetings or employment seminars wearing gym shorts and flip flops and baseball caps?

And what is with the entitlement attitude exhibited by some of these people? Losing your job is traumatic, and being unemployed is stressful. You are not helping yourself at all, though, by arguing with presenters who are trying to share information, or Tsking when you don’t agree (just ask Mr. Niemela).

I’m sure these folks are not expecting an employer to shake their hands and offer them a position on the spot, but you never know. As I spend more time networking and meeting people, I am seeing more and more employers at these various events, and today, one was even pre-screening at an event I was at.

Even if there are no employers at some of these events, the other 9.5% unemployed workers are all potential resources, potential leads, or if nothing else, a sympathetic ear. I have to say this, though: My heart goes out to everyone who is currently looking for a job, and I am more than happy to pass along some helpful advice, or potential leads. But, I am more likely to want to help those who seem to be taking their job search seriously. And wearing your Kobe Bryant basketball jersey to a seminar does not scream to me that you are taking your job search seriously.

I think I just realized I’m turning into my dad.

Find my iPhone!

Find My iPhone Now Available!

So, if you ever lose your iPhone, you can go to the Web and do a satellite search.

Pretty cool! I just tried it, and it narrowed my phone down to somewhere in my apartment complex.

It eventually may have zoomed in closer, but you can set it up to make a sound, even in silent mode.

Those wacky guys at Apple, what will they think of next?

Stay in school, or leave early?

The NBA draft is coming up this week, and once again, the mock-draft boards by people who pay more attention than I do is littered with underclassmen. In fact, the 2008 Player of the Year, North Carolina senior Tyler Hansbrough, may not even be picked in the top 20.

On the one hand, I do not begrudge a youngster to strike while the iron is hot, to start making the big money now and bank it for the future. It's free-enterprise, capitalism, and the libertarian right to do what you please without regard to rules or naysayers (like me) telling you what to do.

On the other hand, I wonder how LeBron James feels now -- MVP season, a statistical career like few others have ever had, yet falling well short of his stated goal of a championship.

Now, there are millions of reasons to participate in sports besides winning championships. Lord knows I've never been close to one, and still enjoyed the thrill of participating. However, when you are being paid the amount of money they throw around in pro sports, there should be an expectation of production.

The worst things that have ever happened to the NBA are the unquestionably successful careers of Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, and Kevin Garnett -- all who skipped college entirely to jump to the NBA from high school. The unfortunate result is, any high school kid who wins a game of HORSE believes he has what it takes to make the jump as well. Yet for every Kobe or LeBron or KG, how many countless Kris Humphrey's or Rick Rickerts are there, players who believed their inflated hypes and the ill-advised recommendations of "friends" and made the jump prematurely, getting scant minutes in the NBA (Humphrey) or never making the NBA at all (Rickert)? Although, they do have Wiki pages, which I guess is pretty cool (I don't have one!).

The vast majority of underclassmen declaring for the NBA draft simply are not ready to play in the NBA. They are talented but have few skills (Humphrey led the Big 10 in points per game and rebounding, but averaged 0.3 assists per game; I suspect the ball was slapped from his hands and ended up with a teammate once every three games. The basic play was, throw the ball in to Humphrey and turn around and set up for defense because he didn't know how to pass it back). And weak skills are making the NBA weaker as a result.

Contrast that with University of Colorado track star Jenny Barringer, who while a senior, has one more semester to complete. With her performance at the 2009 Prefontaine Classic, Barringer became only the third American to break 4:00 for the 1,500 meters (and one of the other two is suspected of using performance enhancing drugs, though most likely later in her career). She is considered a near-lock to qualify for the US World Championship team next week, where she has here eyes set on a medal. She's never been hotter than she is right now, and a poor showing at US Nationals or the World Championships in August could conceivably cost her money. But, she wants to graduate, and she wants to have one more season with Colorado's Cross-Country team in order to win a collegiate national championship. Is she making a mistake? Maybe if your definition of success is money. However, I admire the hell out of her decision, and will be paying close attention to her this summer, and hopefully for may summers to come.

How to Anger a Snake

I’ve been a Tarzan fan for years, though truth be told, it’s been years since I’ve read any of the original Edgar Rice Burroughs’ books. At my suggestion, my Science Fiction book club recently read “Tarzan of the Apes”. Sadly, only I and one other member bothered to read it. Others were relying on memory (or the Weissmuller movies), or simply chose to not read at all.

All the pity, as TotA is a remarkably imaginative. Who couldn’t thrill to the possibilities! Running around the jungle, fighting jungle animals for survival, clad only in a loincloth and a hunting knife, a rope, and a bow and arrows – the way man was meant to live!

Maybe that’s the problem. Despite such strong role models as Sheena Queen of the Jungle, Jana Jungle Girl, and Leopard Woman, I know of no females who ever really found the appeal of the Tarzan stories.

Tarzan eventually married Jane and for a time lived in England, claiming his royal title as Lord Greystoke. They had a child, Jack. One day, while attending a zoo or a circus (it’s been 30 years and the details are a bit fuzzy), Tarzan and Jack see some of Tarzan’s former Great Ape playmates locked up in cages. Again I forget the exact details, but somehow this becomes the catalyst for young Jack to leave home and return with his new Great Ape friends to the jungles of Africa.

The Great Apes had trouble pronouncing the name “Jack,” so hence forward, Jack was known as Korak, Son of Tarzan. Even when Korak met with humans who presumably could have pronounced his name correctly, he introduced himself as Korak Son of Tarzan, always name-dropping his much more renowned father (who was, after all, Lord of the Jungle).

I always gravitated to Korak Son of Tarzan. I did not have the good fortune to be born in the jungle and raised by the Great Ape from infancy, but I could conceivably run off to the jungle now, by choice, and live out my adolescent fantasy.

Plus, according to the Gold Key comic book series, Korak Son of Tarzan had great hair.

REQUISITE SPOILER ALERT for those of you who plan to read this story yourself.

This particular story, published in June 1968, involves giant carnivorous frogs terrorizing an African village. Thanks to High School biology, I know frogs eat bugs, so if they grew to giant proportions, they would have the razor-sharp shark teeth as on the cover. Everything makes sense so far.

After a couple very exciting plot points, the villagers have gathered at the top of the falls to sacrifice a goat, hoping to appease the giant carnivorous frogs. Korak Son of Tarzan sneaks into the tent of the evil witch doctor, pulling a candle stub from his loin cloth for light (where else was he going to carry it? After all, he didn’t have a Batman utility belt.). He finds… a giant carnivorous frog costume! The evil witch doctor has used the real giant carnivorous frogs to camouflage his own nefarious schemes. When the evil witch doctor returns, Korak Son of Tarzan confronts him, and marches him out in front of the villagers. The evil witch doctor twists free, and flings an angry poisonous snake at Korak Son of Tarzan!

With his lightning-quick hands, Korak Son of Tarzan grabs the angry poisonous snake and wrings its life from it, while the evil witch doctor dives into the white frothing water, and does not bob to the surface. Did he perish on the jagged rocks, or did he escape to torment Korak Son of Tarzan another day?

Apparently, the evil witch doctor had been carrying the angry poisonous snake in his loincloth. I can’t really explain this. It does raise the question: did the evil witch doctor carry a poisonous snake in his loin cloth because he was evil, or was the evil witch doctor evil because he carried an angry poisonous snake in his loin cloth? Regardless, I have a pretty good idea why the snake was so angry.