The monsters are due in Phoenix

True confession time: I have never been a morning person. It is much easier for me to stay up late than to get up in the morning. Like Dagwood Bumstead, it takes me some effort to drag myself out of bed. I give myself a good couple of hours to take my shower and down a pot of coffee before I take off for work.

I love to run, for running’s sake. Some people run to lose weight, some people run to relieve stress, some just to get out of the house. As for me, while I experience all of these benefits, I just love to run, to break a sweat, to breath hard, to move from point A to point B under my own power.

This poses a problem, however, because I live in Phoenix where in the summers, the average temp climbs to above 100 degrees. Don’t let anyone fool you; while it is a “dry heat” (relatively speaking), anytime the temps get above 100 degrees, it’s pretty warm. Besides, during the Phoenix monsoon season, the humidity is not all that dry.

To combat the too-warm-to-run phenomenon, many runners get their miles in early in the morning, before going to work. But, as I’ve never been an early-morning person, you can see where the problem is.

One of the benefits of being unemployed is that while you spend most of your days trying to become employed, you are, essentially, a self-employed company of one, and as Boss, you can allow yourself a flex schedule.

I’m taking advantage of that. I’m putting in a lot of hours looking for work, but I am taking some time to do some of the things I really enjoy doing: running, hiking, and working on the screenplay I promised my friend Monet.

I try to maintain some discipline, so I have not turned my alarm clock off since I was laid off. It still rings every morning at the same time, and I still drag myself out of bed and down my first pot of coffee.

There are a number of popular hiking trails in Phoenix, and on Spring weekends, they are packed. So, being the logical thinker that I am, I figured I would go to the hiking trails during the week, when they would be less crowded.

This morning, I checked out Thunderbird Mountain in Glendale for the first time.

It is amazing how many people have the same idea at 9:00 in the morning of a work day. The lots were full, I had to cruise around a bit before I found a space. And the trails were like a parade.

Who are these people? They’re not all retirees, many are actually quite young. Are they third-shifters, getting some exercise after their shifts before they go home? Are they independently wealthy and don’t need to work? Or is the economic situation worse than they’re telling us, and all of these people are out of work, like me?

Or, as Rod Sterling warned us, are they not human at all, and are actually the advance scouting team of space aliens sent to conquer earth? Did they misjudge where all the people would be during the work day? Maybe, my goal in life is to save the earth from the impending invasion!

I’ll keep an eye out, and will let you know.